Who got me hooked on Vino! The Teacher, Proctologists, Governor General, My Dad or a Highchair?

13 Jan

Remember when you were a teenager and your teachers hassled you about what you were going to do when you finished school.  I told them, I’m going to be a bum and sleep on a park bench, somewhere by the sea … with a sheet of newspaper to keep me warm.  Eventually one particular teacher pushed further. In my younger anarchist days the conversation went something like this.

Teacher:  No Really … What are you going to do?

Me: Well actually I was thinking of becoming a proctologist.

Teacher: What’s a proctologist?

Me: Probably best you look it up.

End of Conversation – Everyone Confused.

One of the my fellow students, Hugh, went home to find out more:

Hugh: Dad what’s a proctologist?

Hugh’s Dad (a medico): Explains the intracies of Men’s health & asks why he wanted to know?

Hugh: There’s a kid in the class that mentioned becoming one.

Hugh’s Dad: Who would that be?

Hugh: Paul Kaan.

Hugh’s Dad: That has to be Eddie Kaan’s Son. I went to University with his Father!

By the way Hugh’s Dad is David DeKretsa, 27th Governor General of Victoria.  It really is 3 degrees of separation in Australia.

The real truth was that I had already decided to study Winemaking at Adelaide Unis.  Somehow it was in my blood.  I thought it was the road trips to the wine regions with Mum & Dad when my big Sis and I were still kids.  We’d roll upto the cellar doors in Coonawarra, McLaren Vale, The Clare Valley. The Folks tasted the Vino, Red, White, Fizzy and Fortified, while we tried the kid’s versions, lemonade and red cordial … with a couple of sips of the good stuff … I’m guessing mostly when the a bit of peace and quiet was required. Eventually we migrated to our own mini glass, big glass, then bottle, magnum and more.

Turns out, I was wrong. Something unexpected happened when I was about 18 months old. I thought this was an urban myth. But, now after 37 years and a search through an archive of my Grandparents documents, I’ve FINALLY got the evidence to prove it.  During a visit by my Grandparents, also lovers of food and drink, to a Monty Python point of excess, we all headed off to a restaurant for another mega-feed. Nothing unusual there.  What happened next was apparently the tipping point! The picture says it all! The end result …. I was hooked on vino …. & slept very well for the night!  Still trying to work out who was behind the camera and if they were encouraging the act. I certainly hope so!


From Mother’s Milk to Sucking back a glass of another of nature’s finest. Gotta love the Dapper Dan hand. Age c. 18 months. The photo was found amongst an archive of my grandparents documents by my parents on a trip to Singapore in 2011.


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